I love reading books in which words are used so carefully, creatively, poetically; where it is like I am floating on a wave of learning and gentle inspiration. Words that enter
my mind and my soul. Words like insouciant, flipendulous, liminal, charientism...
Sometimes people who use big words, words that appear important, intelligent, out of the ordinary person's reach, words that can be intimidating or seductive, seem like people we should admire and respect. Sometimes when we hear a person use words that are unfamiliar, coated with the wealth of a secret knowledge that is held by those out of our league, we feel that this person deserves our admiration, our attention, our reverence to their opinion. But ultimately, words are just letters, lines on a page or spoken sounds in the air. And it's not the words that are important, it's what the person means to communicate which holds the most value.
I recently read the book, a first novel by the author Wendy Jones, "The Thoughts and Happenings of Wilfred Price, Purveyor of Superior Funerals". It is a story about a young man who learns that it's not big, or academic sounding words that are important, but the small words which are most often the most difficult, yet important, ones to say. After being seduced by the love and intrigue of unusual words, and the belief that how one speaks reflects the character and value of the person, Wilfred comes to realise something else:
"Words went on forever. And it was strange how the most important moments in life required one to speak, to say what one felt. What I need, he thought, is another kind of dictionary, one that tells me what to say when I don't know what to say. Wilfred wondered what words such a dictionary would have. Phrases such as 'I'm sorry', 'forgive me', even that most difficult of phrases, 'I was wrong'... the words he really needed were the ones his heart spoke... Big words, clever words - were rather grand, too grand really, and unnecessary...It was sufficient, more than enough, to speak plainly, to say what was in his heart. And that wasn't about long words with lots of syllables. It was about simple words. And courage."
I'm often surprised by own sense of inadequacy when it comes to finding the right thing to say. Goodness me, I've been writing and speaking in some way for a living for most of my adult life! Moreover, I know what it is to suffer. I know what it is to feel like the whole world is silent, with no words to offer me. I know what it's like to desperately wish the person near me would just say some simple words, even the words 'I don't know what to say'. But I, too, am sometimes crippled with a lack of courage or clarity, and the moment so often passes when a few words would have meant so much. Sometimes a stranger, sometimes a friend, or family member. I am ashamed of myself in those times. And I vow to make it up to the world, my fellow human beings, in some way next time the opportunity presents itself.
But what propels me most these days, to not hold back, to find those simple words, is my mother. Mum has been living with ovarian cancer for nearly two years. Her body is at war with itself now more than ever before. She is changing before my very eyes. I have never more desperately hoped that I will see her age, to be an old woman. She turns 70 this year. I want to see her at 90. I want to be able to say all those simple words for many more years. I want to learn not to hold back. I want her to hear me say things, not just to know, intuitively, what I am thinking. I love you Mum. I admire you. I am in awe of you.
Simple words. Spoken out loud. More poetic, meaningful, and important, than any long and unusual words could ever be.
 |
| From: http://www.speareducation.com |
Wonderful. Thank you!
ReplyDelete